A number of months ago I asked golfers to think about their enjoyment levels playing golf now compared to when they first started. I received a lot of responses from golfers all around the world, but one golfer sent me his thoughts and his response really saddened me. I thought it would be great if we could collectively help this golfer out. So first read what his response was to my “tell me about your enjoyment levels you have now compared with when you first started playing golf” question.
======> Start Golfers Response To My Question
Nick, I enjoy your website and instruction very much, good job. I was just talking to one of my friends about this not long ago. I am a scratch golfer by the way.
I could hardly wait to get to the golf course on a Saturday & Sunday morning. Like a kid on Christmas morning!! I seemed to enjoy the game so much more then!! I think I even enjoyed my friends more, during the Saturday morning Men’s Club events. I enjoyed the local and state golf tournaments as well.
Now, I know so much more about the golf swing than I ever have, but seem to enjoy it all much less. I get aggravated more often when I play and practice. My good rounds leave me with a nothing feeling, because I expect to play well. The bad rounds; well they are just ZERO fun anymore…
Any suggestions Nick.
======> End Golfers Response To My Question
So have a think about this and then please post your comments giving this golfer your advice on what he can do to regain the enjoyment he had when first starting to play golf. I look forward to reading your advice and comments.
Tags: golf enjoyment
September 2nd, 2009 at 2:05 am
My advice to this golfer is as follows: Take a break, leave your clubs in the store until your appetite for the game is back. Then, re-engage the game with a whole new mental attitude. Leave the technical thoughts on the range and go play with just pure feel. See the shot and just execute. We have to play golf, not play “golf swing”.
September 2nd, 2009 at 2:08 am
I think that this fellow golfer has lost the fact that he is playing a GAME. He has put his expectations at a professional level, without practicing at same level. Saturday and Sunday playing without the inweek practicing would make it very hard to keep consistent.
I think that maybe he needs to step back and rethink epectations of himself and how he wishes to play this GAME. Very lucky to be scratch golfer only playing on the weekends.
Good Luck and I hope he finds enjoyment again in this game.
September 2nd, 2009 at 2:09 am
TAKE A KID GOLFING AND THROUGH TEACHING HIM/HER ,REDISCOVER THE JOY OF THE GAME WHEN THEY PLAY A GREAT SHOT. THIS WILL GET YOU ENJOYING IT AGAIN THROUGH THEIR PASSION AND LOW EXPECTATIONS
September 2nd, 2009 at 2:13 am
Sounds like you are in a bad place mentally. Playing off scratch is a fantastic achievement and so you are in the top percentile of all global players. Sounds as if you need to refocus your mental side so that you can recapture the enjoyment you once had.
September 2nd, 2009 at 2:16 am
Hi Nick
I can relate to this golfers dispondency about his feelings at not enjoying the his game anymore, it happened to me but not anymore.
I suggest, he takes time out, think about what first got him hooked on the game, think on that alone. then, he should go back to the basics of when he first started to play the game, forget about all the well meaning instructions from fellow golfing partners and every article giving advice.. Seek out a good coach to get his game back to basics then, just go out and have a ball, relax, enjoy and don’t worry about screwing up a drive,a pitch, a putt, because the more one concentrates on doing the right thing, the more one screws up and the more frustrating the game gets.you have good games and you have bad games but, there is always that shot or putt in every game that makes you say” hey now that was great”
and you just enjoy the moment,the day and the game and watch how your game improves and the enjoyment comes back.
September 2nd, 2009 at 2:18 am
Hi,
Enjoyment depends upon expectations met, i.e., outlook. Learning is a never ending process. If you have (and I’m not using ‘If you think you have…’) really learned all there is to learn, give it up. It’s not worth the time and effort. Even Tiger Woods is still learning and trying to improve his game. Therefore, you are most probably not giving yourself enough challenge or you have nothing in common (to share) with your playing partners.
You might say that life is complicated and then again you might say it is simple and straight forward. Our life is what we make of it; it is no more complicated or no less simple.
One suggestion; make good use of your knowledge and show (teach) others (like me, who are still struggling), how simple the golf swing is, so that we may enjoy it more and at the same time give yourself satisfaction in seeing us improve.
September 2nd, 2009 at 2:19 am
Hi,
Enjoyment depends upon expectations met, i.e., outlook. Learning is a never ending process. If you have (and I’m not using ‘If you think you have…’) really learned all there is to learn, give it up. It’s not worth the time and effort. Even Tiger Woods is still learning and trying to improve his game. Therefore, you are most probably not giving yourself enough challenge or you have nothing in common (to share) with your playing partners.
You might say that life is complicated and then again you might say it is simple and straight forward. Our life is what we make of it; it is no more complicated or no less simple.
One suggestion; make good use of your knowledge and show (teach) others (like me, who are still struggling), how simple the golf swing is, so that we may enjoy it more and at the same time give yourself satisfaction in seeing us improve.
Cheers,
WZ
September 2nd, 2009 at 2:37 am
HELLO NICK, WHEN I FIRST STARTED PLAYING GOLF ,I WAS OBCESSED WITH BEING THE VERY BEST I COULD BE, I DID NOT PLAY UNTIL I WAS 35, I WOULD REALLY GET DOWN ON MYSELF WHEN I DID NOT PERFORM AT THE LEVEL I KNEW I COULD. IT WASNT UNTIL I INTRODUCED MY TWO SONS TO GOLF WE ALWAYS PLAYED CLUB EVENTS TOGETHER UNTIL THEY GOT DOWN TO 3AND4 H/CAPS WHEN I STARTED TO SEE THEM DOING WHAT I HAD BEEN DOING (SWEARING FORCING CLUBS INTO THE BAGS GENERAL BAD MANERS ON THE COURSE) I RELIZED THAT WAS WRONG ,WE THEM ALWAYS PLAYED SEPARATE FROM THEN ON THEY WENT ON TO BE GREAT PLAYERS WITH THE CLUB MIXING WITH THE OLDER MEMBERS .WHILE I LEARNT THAT I WAS TRY TO COMPETE WITH THEM ONE ON ONE. I NOW PLAY RELAXED GOLF HAVE TAKEN ON THE CAPTAINS ROLE AT OUR CLUB ,NOW AM A SINGLE FIGURE GOLFER , NOW THAT I DONT PLAY LIFE AND DEATH GOLF , I AM A FAR BETTER GOLFER THEM I EVER THOUGHT I WOULD BE. CHEERS TREVOR
September 2nd, 2009 at 2:39 am
Perhaps by getting involved in junior golf helping youngsters improve their skills you might find that by giving back to the game, the game will give back to you.
September 2nd, 2009 at 2:43 am
It seems you don’t love the game of golf anymore.
You’d consider to get divorced with your wife when you don’t love her anymore. But the case may be different if you have kids with her.
With golf, no tie and no string. What’d you do?
September 2nd, 2009 at 2:44 am
I think he should stop playing golf until he can find enjoyment in his life off of the golf cores. For how you feel on the corse is most likely hor you feel off of the corse. start injoying your frinds again in real life and it will cary on to the corse. In other words stop and smel the roses again. He should take time to look how he is doing at home and at work. He should take breath of freash air and think how am I living my life and look at the bright side of life and you will find enjoyment on the corse again. Love live and be happy
September 2nd, 2009 at 2:56 am
It is normal for most, if not all people, to eventually take things they have in life for granted. When this happens, many lose the enjoyment they once used to have.
My advice would be to really look at not just your golf, but at everything you have in life and start to be more grateful for ALL you have.
Be grateful for the fact you play golf at a standard most others will never reach. Be grateful and take in all that golf can give you. Fresh air, beautiful scenery, good friends and fun.
Remember golf is just a game and it should always be looked at that way, regardless of how good you are. Enjoy golf for what it is, one of the best games ever invented.
Set yourself new goals to achieve in golf. Never get angry or disappointed with how you play or when you make a mistake. Instead, learn from the mistakes you make as you do with all other mistakes you make in life.
Find new and challenging courses to play. Get together with some friends and make plans to visit and play new courses. Find new tournaments to play in even if it means going away for a few days.
Start helping others improve their own games. Offer advice and give some tips to people. When they come back and thank you for improving their game, you will begin to enjoy it once more.
Be proud, be grateful and realize there are thousands if not millions of people who would truly love to be able to play scratch golf!
Gary J Kidd
September 2nd, 2009 at 3:13 am
Hi Nick,
I’m not sure I can relate to your situation as I am certainly not a scratch golfer and so still find plenty of challenges. However, at the risk of stating the obvious and without knowing what your circumstances will allow, here are some suggestions to put some interest back in the game:
Play courses you haven’t played before
Play with new partners
Play different forms of the game such as pitch and putt
Practice shaping shots in various ways
Coach some juniors
Invest in some swing analysis software and work on improving on any weaknesses.
September 2nd, 2009 at 3:25 am
I enjoy golf much more than when I started as I do less fluff shots.However I still get very frustrated when playing with men who can hit the ball 200 odd yds down the fairway when I am lucky to get 100 yds with a driver.As a woman it can be very frustrating. I wish I could hit the ball much further to at least try to keep up with them.When we have to write our other players score it can be very demoralising when they say par and yet for me 2 over par is good.
September 2nd, 2009 at 3:38 am
ick your
friend just isn’t a golfer anymore.he might like ping pong better
i’m like that i was an avid fisherman and hunter i lost interestafter 30 years.now i’m an avid golfer. good score bad score don’t make you like the game. howard
September 2nd, 2009 at 3:47 am
I had the similar feeling a few years ago and practically stopped playing golf for a couple of years. Initially I felt it was because i was playing bad golf (went from a 9 to 15 handicap)but on hindsight realise that it has nothing to do with golf but rather my state of mind.I was unhappy with myself…felt I was not giving back enough in emotional terms to my family, work and life in general. You definately cannot enjoy golf if you dont have that exitement that you had as a kid. Suggest you stop for a couple of months and then when u get back, you fill be looking forward to your rounds. Another suggestion is to play by your self say 6 rounds early morning….you will get that feeling back ??
September 2nd, 2009 at 3:49 am
Golf is a game of HOPE. Right around the corner is the next lesson, article, tip, feeling, or idea that is going to lift our performance.
My advice would be to rekindle that HOPE in the game, enjoy the MOMENT of the shot, and expect to play up to your ability.
September 2nd, 2009 at 3:54 am
I was terrible when I first started playing golf with my Dad when I was a kid, and now I’m 37 yrs old and not a great deal better! But I love the game my father taught me when I was a little kid, and I still love to play now. My father was a great golfer, but he unofrtuately died in August 1998 of lung cancer. I have been practicing more over the last 11 years since his death and I love the game more than ever. My wife thinks I’m crazy because I have 2 sets of my dad’s clubs and 2 sets that I bought my self (I had 4 extra sets, but had to sell them…).
My suggestion to you if you don’t like the feeling of golf anymore is give it a break for a year or so – there is no challenge for you any more. If you decide later that you want to come back to it – great!
If not – great too! Maybe you will find something else that you can work at and master that as well.
The way I play is that I play for each shot (no matter how bad most of the time, but for me it is the big TWING and the great shots that I haven’t mastered yet that bring me back every time!)
September 2nd, 2009 at 3:58 am
Poor baby… A scratch golfer unhappy with his results anymore. Sounds like money or family isn’t an issue either. I’ll feel for you when I’m shooting 89 (again) at my local munny. Hey…if I tee off before 8am, it’s only $20. Keep up the good work Nick, as for that gentlemen’s problem…good luck, I suggest he finds himself a more challenging game to play!
September 2nd, 2009 at 4:15 am
In response to the golfer that isn’t enjoying golf, it sounds to me he needs to challange himself. Maybe he needs to play some other courses he is not used to. Playing the same course all the time you learn the course very well. On a different course he may not be a scratch golfer. He may have to bring course management back into play and think about golf in another way.
September 2nd, 2009 at 4:35 am
I believe I went through the same sequence of a events a number fo years ago. I believe it is all do to expectations. When first golfing our expectations are low. That is even true of amateur golfers during their first outing after a long winter. But as we play the game and practice our expectations for our performance rise. When we do well it is expected. After all we play regularly and parctice diligently. But when we do poorly we get down on ourselves and the game. Each bad shot bothers us. We find ourselves in a funk and we wish we stayed in bed. That kind of attitude was ruining my enjoyment of the game and making me a less than desirable playing partner on occasion.
I got over it, however, with one simple thought. The swing I come to the course with on any particular day is the swing I have to live with for the round. I play the best I can but I make a point of enjoying the weather, the course, my friends and the fact that I have the luxury of playing golf at all.
That singular attitude change has made a big difference in my approach to golf. I still get excited and I still get disappointed but I realize it’s only a game and it isn’t my day job.
September 2nd, 2009 at 4:37 am
well, it seems to me that this person has a lot to offer so maybe they should look to do some local lessons or get involved in the first T program and help some people.
nothing imparts a greater sense of satisfaction than helping others succeed and being altruistic
giving something back like this will help remind this person of just how hard it is to shoot good golf – I always get a kick out of people that tell me that they just wish they could shoot bogey golf – like it’s nothing!
the bottom line is that: “you have to give to get”!
so give of yourself and your talent to others and you may be surprised that your enthusiasm returns to you in spades!
God Bless,
Kevo
September 2nd, 2009 at 4:42 am
I have experienced the same thing, the only difference being I have never experienced the scratch golfer part. Golf was invented to make the rest of your life better. Compared to how pissed off I get on the course the rest of my life is a cake walk. Take on a real challenge and switch to left handed golf. I’m considering it. What do I have to loose???
September 2nd, 2009 at 5:05 am
My suggestion is:
Start all over again with playing golf with your left arm (if your right handed) or the other way.
Try to get a scratch player with your other hand, so you have an new goal to work on and have fun to see your improvement (and also your missing hits!).
September 2nd, 2009 at 5:06 am
I hesitate to comment on someone’s personal motivational challenges when it comes to golf. Like Nick I think this guy has a tough problem
that I wish I had! Seems like he enjoyed learning the game and got bored and frustrated when his success didn’t lead to “perfection” that as we all know can’t be achieved.
My two suggestions are at opposite ends of the spectrum.
First, he might try playing more tournaments in order to push himself into another learning curve that might peak his interest levels.
On the other hand he may benefit from distancing himself from the game for a while which might cause him to miss the game and appreciate all the things he used to enjoy about it when he returns to the game.
It’s a game and we need to keep perspective and enjoy “playing at it” as it was meant to be.
September 2nd, 2009 at 5:09 am
When I pick up my first golf club at a practice (Driving) Range. I paid the guy running the range what was the correct thing to do to be able to hit the ball correctly. He said swing slow and do not get upset if you fail to hit it like you want to. Boy was this exciting to start out learning how to play golf. What I am trying to say is instruction on learning how to do different thing in golf or either taught wrong or the instruction are wrong. After many year of watching and reading and trying to analize the game I know what to do and how to do most of the correct things on most shots. The problem with out a lot of practice it may not work on the first try. Enjoyment to me playing golf is the time away from my job. The quiteness and the time away from everyday stress. I had to learn the hard way that when your game is going bad, let it go and enjoy the fact that you could play when there is a lot of people that are unable.
September 2nd, 2009 at 5:14 am
I was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor in June 04 and one of the things that motivated my recovery was getting back on the golf course. I told anyone that would listen that within a week of getting out of the hospital I would be on the range. Could hardly walk, sweating like a waterfall, balance was questionable but I was hitting or rather attempting to hit balls none the less. The guys from my league were really supportive. I remember the first time I hit my seven wood about 75 yards I had this huge smile on my face and someone watching commented that they couldn’t believe was I even able to swing a club. Right then and there I just knew I’d beat this thing. So far I have. To me golf is more than a game it is a way to feel alive regardless how one scores. Hope this helps anyone struggling with things to just KEEP swinging.
DGB, Orlando Fl
September 2nd, 2009 at 5:22 am
firstly we must remember it is a GAME of golf.I can still remember the fun after school to go and play a gome of football or cowboys and indians or whatever was on the agenda for the day.Once our mothers called us in for tea we ceased to be Roy Rogers or Stanley Mathews,Im giving my age away.For the few hours we were totally absorbed in our Game but at tea time we came back to reality.I would give my eye teeth to be a scratch golfer but realistically i know i just havent got the talent for it .None the less each time i go for agame of golf i tell myself today is the day,Evan at my limited capabilites if i discover a new tip that works for me i am only to anxious to share it with my playing partners.You being a scratch golfer would have so much advice and tips to pass on to lesser mortals i am sure there are plenty of budding golfers all to anxious to hear you sharing your skills with them.Think of all the pleasure it would give them.
September 2nd, 2009 at 5:27 am
It appears that what was once a joy is now just work. You have mastered the game(most of the time) and now you have trouble realizing the fun and enjoyment in your accomplishments. Maybe you need a break from the game or an altogether different activity.
Here is another thought if you still want to play golf. Play with people you don’t know. I find this quite enjoyable. I’ve met some truely interesting people, not to say that there aren’t some self-absorbed people out there. Generally, there are more nice people than not. Why do this, because you might enjoy the company and secondly, you just might not take the game so seriously and it may become enjoyable again.
Another idea is to play alone. I do this occasionally before work, play 9 holes. I find this very peaceful and contemplative. It’s just you and the golf course. The course is very beautiful and the surroundings very pleasurable.
My closing point is to determine why you have trouble finding golf enjoyable. There’s a technique called the “why-why digram” (google from the web). You begin with a premise, for example: “I do not find golf enjoybale”, then you answer the why question and keep progressing from there. you might gain some insight.
September 2nd, 2009 at 5:29 am
Hi Nick,
It seems that this golfer has lost his appetite for the game.
Golf should not be a laborious task it should be fun.
Perhaps this guy needs to introduce some novel ideas into his
routines to make it more enjoyable.
As regards competition golf if he needs to get his competitive
edge back then maybe he should play some of his friends for a few dollars. After all no one likes losing especially when theres a couple of bucks at stake.
Finally, play within himself and stop putting himself under
pressure. After all some of the best roundscome together when you
are not playing to your full ability.
Take the challenge!
September 2nd, 2009 at 5:32 am
It seems you found pleasure from golf only in the improvement process. You enjoyed getting better, learning new shots and seeing the instant reward on the scorecard.
Now that you’ve become a scratch golfer the improvement process has slowed way down as has your gratification. The steps are smaller now and create less effect on the scorecard.
The solution is a new attitude. An overhaul of your mental game. Change your expectation from improvement to the bigger picture of the overall golfing experience.
You are in the outdoors with friends enjoying the fresh air, some healthy exercise, the good company of your friends and the competition of a round of golf. Life could be much worse.
Can you beat your best round ever? Can you play bogey free? Can you birdie all the par 3s? or par 5s? Every round is different that any other before and every other to come.
I am suggeting that you could create new challenges to add excitment to the game.
But primarily you need to step back and appreciate what the game offers in every aspect.
September 2nd, 2009 at 5:38 am
Dear Nick,
What does he mean he is a scratch golfer? Maybe after hitting the ball he scratched his head because his ball went off the fairway, OB, woods, water, or bunker. Playing golf is like dating your pretty girlfriend, you have to enjoy it and have some fun. You have to caress the golf clubs or kiss the ball when you made birdie or par then shout, Yessss. Like Tiger Woods he punches the air after holing the putt.
My advice, he should play poker with his buddies.
Warm regards,
Adrian
September 2nd, 2009 at 5:39 am
Nick,
What most “scratch” golfers need is to start playing in tournaments, with offical scorekeeping, strictly following the Rules of Golf. They would immediately recapture the thrill of trying to break 80!
Jim
September 2nd, 2009 at 5:40 am
Nick:
There have been many times when I have gotten down on myself playing golf and even threatened to quit the game.
What I do is go back to “basics” so to speak. I forget about the game from the scoring standpoint and don’t even keep score for a few rounds. I just enjoy being outside, having the ability to still play at my age (69) and to enjoy the company of my friends for those few hours on the course every week. That usually brings me back into focus and reality. Hope it helps.
Jim
September 2nd, 2009 at 6:11 am
Nick,
This guy states he’s a scratch golfer. Based on his statement about knowing so much more about the game, he needs to try and take his game to the next level. It appears to me he’s reached a current plateau and is now bored. Two recommendations. 1) Recommend a local tour, a mini tour, the Nationwide Tour, Q-school or something like these to keep his competitive juices flowing. 2)become an instructor which will allow him to impart his knowledge to the next generation.
September 2nd, 2009 at 6:13 am
I feel the same way, but who can expect to play as well as I did when I did play well. Even then I could see where i made mistakes and I was just sad knowing that there was not enough time in the day to fix everything. I had my moments and am thankful for what I did have. Like all good things there just isn’t enough of either time or money or something. You are finite and so is life. Enjoy what you can when you can. You never know when time has run out. Its like night and day. You accept it. Maybe you need new equipment. Sometimes it helps, really.
September 2nd, 2009 at 6:14 am
My God!
What if I had the skills to be a scrach golfer ?
I’m 68 yrs. old and my back has been hurting all year and I still
enjoy playing in scrambles with the different people every Mon.,Tues.
& Thursday morning.
We had 59 players yesterday, 15 teams,the first round with 14 teams
of 4 players,and 1 team of 3 players,the team that had 3, got an
extra shot per hole.
The teams are chosen with 4 different skill levels.
Low or -0- handicap’s being 1’s, and so on down to the duffers (ME)
In reality, I never know where my golf ball is going to end up!!!
I hit one off the tee yesterday, straight up in the air,ending up
15 feet in front of me,its a good thing I was playing in a scramble,
and didn’t have to use it…
My advice to the person who gets no enjoyment from his golf…
Switch around. If you are right handed, change over to a set of left handed clubs,or vice-a-versa…
This will put some challenge back in the game,and to become a scratch
player left handed(or vice-a-versa)will be challenging (and rewarding).
Or,get a scramble going, help out the higher handicapers on your team,
instead of getting mad, get a thrill helping others…
I’M A DUFFER-PROBABLY ALLWAYS WILL BE-I ENJOY PLAYING GOLF…
as painfull as it become to me,I love golfing with the friends I’ve
made playing in the local scrambles.
I just cannot picture a scratch golfer, not enjoying a round of golf ?
September 2nd, 2009 at 6:15 am
I feel the same way, but who can expect to play as well as I did when I did play well. Even then I could see where I made mistakes and I was just sad knowing that there was not enough time in the day to fix everything. I had my moments and am thankful for what I did have. Like all good things there just isn’t enough of either time or money or something. You are finite and so is life. Enjoy what you can when you can. You never know when time has run out. Its like night and day. You accept it. Maybe you need new equipment. Sometimes it helps, really.
September 2nd, 2009 at 6:24 am
Nick
I would suggest that this golfer needs a way to adjust his mental attitude to the game. It is good to have high expectations, that is how you improve and compete. It is unfortunate if those high expectations take the enjoyment out of the game.
Think of a very high handicapper, starting out in the game. They could be discouraged, counting every shot and recording such high scores, sometimes double digit on many holes. That golfer can instead simply focus on the number of good shots made in a round. They can work to increase the number of good shots and recognize their progress.
For this scratch golfer, he needs something to focus on, especially not beating himself up for poor rounds. Look at the pros, they often have rounds with poor scores and they do it in public, on television, in front of everyone, with no place to hide.
Hopefully, he can find some aspect of the game to enjoy: the friendship, the weather, the challenge, the opportunity to be alive, healthy and active. Perhaps some time away from the game will allow him to find the part of it which he enjoys.
Meanwhile, I will continue to work at improving my game and hope to someday have the problems of a scratch golfer.
Cheers
September 2nd, 2009 at 6:26 am
I relate to the feelings expressed by this golfer and wonder if my goals are skewed by unrealistic expectations. After all, who do we think we are? We are not perfect so we should expect to have some errant shots and learn to work with what we have. Nothing wrong with laughing at some of the dumb things we do and just moving on and do our best to repair the damage.
Remember how lucky we are to be out there playing a game that can give us so much if we will only embrace the entire experience. Starting now I will do exactly that.
Thanks for the reminder.
John
September 2nd, 2009 at 6:28 am
Nick,l beg to differ from that golfer. He said he is scrath golfer. How l wish l was, but l suspect that his enjoyment is weaning because he is no longer a scrath golfer mainly because he is getting older or maybe he is playing with with a higher handicaper or maybe he has found other interesting aspectof his life. l have been playing for over l5 years and l am now 79 years old,will be 80 on Feb. l am still trying to get better,taking lessens here and there,buying DVD!s and looking at the internet anf golf channel even though l remain a higher handicaper.
September 2nd, 2009 at 6:37 am
More enjoyment now than when I first started. My expectations are higher and try Nicks tips to improve my game. If I have a bad round I think of what was wrong and now I have a new goal to concentrate on. Every time, things will go to plan and I will score below my handicap, which is 8 at the moment. The gear now available is more helpful than when I first started playing, so come on, think positive go out there and do what you want to do!
September 2nd, 2009 at 6:41 am
forget golf go play bowling
September 2nd, 2009 at 6:45 am
Firstly, you must understand & accept that you will never be satisfied with your standard of play. This is probably the main thing which differentiates golf from other Sports. No matter what level you are at, no matter how well you have played, no matter how well you have scored, you will always be able to say”If I hadn’t …., I would have scored even lower”. An old Professional once said “If you go out expecting to hit the perfect shot, you will be disappointed 95% of the time”. When you come to accept that the Score is not the Indicator of your enjoyment you will revive your interest in the game. If you want to win every game, be “the fastest gun in the West” someone else wil beat you. So, enjoy the cameraderie, enjoy paying out when you lose & you will start to enjoy when you hit those really good shots, which come around from time to time. Don’t forget to smell the flowers on the way. As an example, I have gone up from 7 to 9 this year & played some poor golf, had some really bad luck & the I won 2 Competitions in this last week. Hanon in there! Good luck
September 2nd, 2009 at 6:47 am
Nick, I believe that the game of golf is like the life we live…..challenges, obstacles, endless possibilities trying to complete the same goal….get the ball in the hole……as in golf and life…we get upset when we expect more from ourselves….In life you don’t get the raise you wanted, but you have put in all the hard work….it can be frustrating…..Golf is the same…when we practice hard at something to see if we can lower our scores and it doesn’t work out…we have the same feeling….you should rather look at it this way….i had expected more but i am happy with the effort I gave….knowing that …..you should want to do better the next time…there is always a next time….in golf and life….
Striving to improve is what makes this game un-masterable……
Dave Lessler
Maryland
September 2nd, 2009 at 6:52 am
Stay away from golf for a few weeks, and before long
you will miss it. I had the same feeling. Had to stay away
because of hip surgery and realized how much enjoyment the
game really gave me. If you play for money, take the pressure off by
just playing for the enjoyment of being outdoors and
enjoying your friends. Dan/dits4golf
September 2nd, 2009 at 6:57 am
Zero Fun,
It sounds like you have reached the mountian top and have been disapointed in what you have found. The expectation sometimes better than the reward. I would suggest playing tennis for a little while. Yes, that means stepping away from golf. You will find that tennis and golf have very much in common. The swings are surprizing simular, and this will be an activity that will keep you in a ball striking mindset. Something else you might try is to challenge yourself by playing a round with only a seven iron, on maybe a three wood, or even a wedge and compete with your normal group. This will be a new challenge and will bring back some spark to your game. The last thing is to always keep learning, learn a new shot each season and try to make it your go to shot for that year.
September 2nd, 2009 at 7:04 am
try to play bowling and forget about golf you will ber a lot happier
September 2nd, 2009 at 7:06 am
Sorry, Nick, I really can’t think of anything to tell him. You really can’t tell someone to enjoy something that he doesn’t like anymore. I am getting that way with the price of everything going up these days. My local golf course went out and hired a guy to help get golfers back golfing. He claimed that the prices were going to go down. Well he lowered the young peoples prices and raised the prices for seniors. So guess what? There were less jioning back to the seniors leagues and if things don’t change I will be one of them.
SORRY ABOUT THAT, but if you don’t enjoy something there isn’t much you can tell them, to change thier minds.
September 2nd, 2009 at 7:28 am
A helpful read would be “Golf’s Sacred Journey” by Cook
September 2nd, 2009 at 8:00 am
Dear Anonymous Golfer,
You’re taking this game of golf much too seriously. Do what I’ve come to do, Take in the day, smell the roses, and whatever happens, happens. Life is too short to be worried about a game. Tomorrow is another day, so what happens today is gone forever. Do you think any of your buddies will remember that you shot a 85 instead of a 75 that you or they were expecting. I don’t know how old you are, but in 10 years, do you think your score will make any difference in your life? I doubt it!
Live Well,
Edward
September 2nd, 2009 at 8:08 am
Golf is a game, and games should be fun. If golf is no longer fun, it may be a sign to find another game to enjoy, or find a way to make the game within the game more exciting.
Since this golfer is a scratch golfer, he may no longer find golf challenging and exciting. My suggestion to him would be to find another game, or make golf more challenging by becoming a sub-par golfer with a new goal to average shooting 69 or lower.
September 2nd, 2009 at 9:06 am
Quit. Lay down the clubs and leave them alone until you learn to fully appreciate the game and what it adds to your life, and when you miss it enough, you’ll return to it with a renewed sense of joy.
September 2nd, 2009 at 9:13 am
Hi,
Having gone through this I felt necessary to reply.
I suggest that the real issue that you should be concered about is the effect that you have on your playing partners. No fun for you makes you someone that others do not want to play with.
I came up with a little in game game and it helped me immensely with both the good and bad games.
When having a bad game I would quickly switch to shotmaking mode and hit shots in the following sequences
1 low hook
2 low fade
3 medium hook
4 medium fade
5 high hook
6 high fade
the next 6 shots would be 3/4 shots in the sam sequence
the next 6 shots would be hit with 2 clubs lower a 7 iron instead of a 9
ON A GOOD ROUND
when my interest lagged I hit shot opposites
a fade instead of a draw
a low shot instead of a high one
OBVIOUSLY
most of the above shots are not the correct ones to play in tournaments BUT it keeps your brain active, alert and waiting for the next attempt to try the almost impossible. A slice over water, hook over the woods.
In putting I try to leave a 4-6 foot putt so that I have a true test all day
If you play your casual rounds like this you will find out where you stand as a player, it will expose weaknesses and in the end you will be more accomplished.
The big thing is the guys I play with, they used to think I was crazy to play all different shots but the see the difference now and they admit I’m a lot nicer to play with
john
September 2nd, 2009 at 9:32 am
Well, hey, how about the beautiful surroundings? Try to enjoy BEING on the golf course and BEING with your friends instead of just this crazy game of golf. Perhaps this golfer is too obsessed with the game and cannot see the trees and people. Look around see the birds, flowers, water, and all that is happening other than what you are doing. Maybe that’s my problem, I’m far from scratch but sure do enjoy my courses and friends. My advice for him relax and enjoy.
September 2nd, 2009 at 1:53 pm
Hello Nick, Golf is a selfish sport and I would gather that this chap is that and the lowest handicapped golfer when playing with his group of mates. I would say he talks about his game all round the course – whether they are good or bad shots – and the other golfers just accept it, or they have ear plugs. This bloke needs to relax and look about himself and enjoy being out in the open and interact with his golfing mates more.
I have been playing the game for many years and can relate to what this chap is experiencing although not to a scratch handicap. I too got frustrated with the game in my youth and moved on to a team sport for a couple of years. When I moved back to golf I appreciated the fact that the game of golf is very individual and can make you very selfish and learned to be in the moment when playing a shot and out of it when not. I think this chap should do a lot more deep breathing to feed his brain with oxygen.
Bryan
September 2nd, 2009 at 2:04 pm
Hi Nic
I think that there are a lot of *amateur^ golfers out there who would like to be off scratch. I took up the game 5 years ago, because I wanted to play with my darling man. I am a professional classical musician by profession and I had absolutely no ball eye co-ordination at all. I got better, simply by trying. I found golf more absorbing than everything I had trained for, for hours and hours every day of my life for more years than I would care to remember! Yet, for me, the music thing had long since ceased to be an enjoyment, simply because I was very very good at what I knew …. and that was half the majic of golf. I KNOW I am never going to be that great at it. So, I would suggest, going to learn to play the piano, practise scales and exercises for years knowing that you are never going to be THAT GOOD …. and then go back to golf and say …. “gosh, but I never knew how good I am at this! PS. I have managed to get off 16, which sounds pathetic to a scratch golfer … but hey, have you tried being any good at the piano? Enjoy …. we are all incredibly lucky to be out there playing, or attempting to play this wonderful game, which is essentiallly finding out more about our own psyche, us and a static ball walking a course, with the wind and air and sun and rain and animals and birds …. and everything that life is. LUCKY US ….
September 2nd, 2009 at 2:18 pm
Hi Nick,
My short game (100 yards or less) is very good, but my long game sucks my consistency is missing and this is keeping my handicap high. I know the problem (My point is this is what you need to do, identify the problem), the hard part is finding a solution to fix it.
My advise to you is to not try and play a standard golf game, but instead give your golf game a different theme, you hopefully have heard of texas scramble, there are many many variations to the golf game that you can play, rather than just hitting and feeling nothing. Try playing a different type of game, set yourself some different targets to achieve to bring the fun back into the game.
I have for a long time (5 years) enjoyed playing golf, however my golf partners are very quick to put me down, they find great joy when I hit a poor shot, they also push my buttons the wrong way, which makes my game get worse, so I am not enjoying my game as I used to. I started to play on my own and found immediately that my game was better. I have just started to play with other people, namely my nephews who’s game is just starting and I am enjoying my golf again, whilst being able to help them improve their game at the same time, most importantly I am having fun again.
I have now started to teach my children how to play golf and I am getting so much fun from doing this as well.
So my advise is to try and do something different to get your game back on par.
Good luck,
David.
September 2nd, 2009 at 3:12 pm
Friends of Bill Wilson would recommend invoking Rule #62
DON’T TAKE YOURSELF SO SERIOUSLY!!!!
You seem focused on the wrong things in a round of golf. I suggest somehow changing your focus or give up the game.
Bill
PS This is exactly the kind of guy I refuse to play golf with. One bad shot runes his day… and mine
September 2nd, 2009 at 3:20 pm
Hello,
Boy I wish I could shot Scratch Golf. I just started playing a couple months ago (3). At the present I play with the senior league at our golf course. I’m 58 working on 59, and I’m simply enjoying the heck out of the game. I’ve been posting scores in the middle range of 40’s, one day I shocked myself by having a 42 for nine holes. What I do enjoy the most is the commradary with my buddies, making super shots gives me that quick fix at the moment. I was very fortunate to find the site for Nick Bayley and by using his instructions I’ve been able to almost eliminate my slicing problem. I played a unfamiliar course today with some of our courses member, we played a best ball scramble. Well we all had a super time, joking around and such, some balls went haywire pushed, pulled, slices. Through it all though, we salvaged a 64 on a par 72 course that was 6400 yards. Can you imagine the high we were on. I was the youngest guy on our foursome. Golf’s a Super game, Enjoy while we can and if we hit on off the wall, remember there’s always the next shot. Keep your eye on the ball.
September 2nd, 2009 at 4:17 pm
In anything we do we need challenge to enjoy, at the start we enjoy because we have ambition to achieve and become a scratch golfer. The reason I believe he got no enjoyment is because he had reach this point. So my advice is for you to challenge yourself again in reaching the unreachable like pre-qualify in a pro tour and try beating all the Pros or you may want a challenge to beat every course record there is in your local golf course (This will be a Guiness achievement) then the excitement will come back as well as your enjoyment. Goodluck on your journey towards an enjoyable GOLF (Go On Learning Further).
September 2nd, 2009 at 4:58 pm
-Golf is a great game because even your bad shots or bad rounds there is always something good that you can and should focus on and take away.
-Even the great golfers current and past are always looking at ways to refine,improve and learn about this great game. This gentleman is a good golfer and reached levels most of us can only dream of perhaps he needs to re-visit his goals in what he wants to get out of the game and achieve,play competavly or socially?
-Maybe he will get great reward and satisfaction in passing on some of his knowledge and experiences this could re-kinder his passion for the game.
-Often we forget when we play there are 3 other people in the four. Perhaps he needs to ask them how they honestly feel when they play with him and have to experience his clearly showing lack of enjoyment or frustration with how he his playing. He might not like what he hears or he might realise that he is good and people look up to him and his ability.
I could go on but reading the other comments there is a common theme here.
Love to play love the game. There is no such thing as a bad day at golf.
September 2nd, 2009 at 5:12 pm
This man is very lucky but he has brought a problem upon himself that he has to cure. Look at the American PGA there is only one man that is in the top ten all the time and that is Tiger all the rest come and go. Even now Tiger has a struggle to get to be first but it doesn’t stop him trying. He is realising I think that he has to change his strategy and he is. He has shortened his Driver a little for instance. He doesn’t try to bomb it off every tee these days.
Learn to play the game from the green to the tee for instance. This man has got to look at himself and like a lot have said give his knowledge to young golfers, starters. We can’t all be winners. we can’t always play great. The players on the PGA they practice all day every day and yet they cannot keep it up they have to slide down the scale and comeback up again for probably only one or two games a season. So it is no use worrying about not being at the top all the time. Like I said only one golfer recntly has acheived this. One golfer and you are only one golfer of many who are having a slump.
Accept the fact and get out of competition and go and enjoy golf for a while with a couple of mates were there is nothing on it. Make sure there is nothing on it. Talk about the beautiful trees on the course or the view not about how you are playing. Try some shots that you need sprucing up on and don’t worry if you duff it or don’t play it well. Enjoy the game for what it was intended for. A pleasant walk chasing a ball.
September 2nd, 2009 at 5:19 pm
Hello Nick
Well buddy this coming Sunday I suggest you take the day off and go visit and old folks home. While there look around at all the folks that can’t walk, hear, or enjoy the many things you take for granted. After you do this go back to the course and feel the breeze, listen to the birds, look at the beauty, smell the air and enjoy the fact that you can walk and swing a club good or bad. Once you are thankful that you can still do the things that many people can’t do then your golf game will be so enjoyable you will never complain again..who cares if you hit a bad shot as long as you can actually swing the club.
Cheers Mate I wish you the best
September 2nd, 2009 at 5:33 pm
I think “STOP” and take a break is important now.
When we forced ourselves too much, we will not improve but decline.
Golf is a game which needs high precision and accuracy. If you are in a bad mood, you cannot concentrate and focus, you will lose the precision and accuracy.
Just my 2 cents.
Cheers!
September 2nd, 2009 at 10:57 pm
“…you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t faucet.”
I can truely emphatise with this person. I’m a single “didz” player… same boat – high expectation on every round played. The harder I tried the harder it got! Took a break from the game to reassess (life/family.. etc) things. It just took longer to get back to the same level of frustration that I was at.
With the advent of technology we sometimes get caught in a “stampede with the masses” and your stuck in the middle of the herd and go along for the run!
Then I had my right hip replaced – two years of therapy… during which I started mentoring kids on golf; Wow!!! Although I couldn’t play, I had so much fun!! You know… I never lost what I was looking for.. I just stopped having fun!
September 3rd, 2009 at 12:21 am
I know how this chap feels. I was a 7 handicapper until a long lay off (marriage, kids mortgage) put paid to 18 of golf. Now back into golf, and having joined a club, I started with a handicap of 15 with every expectation of getting back to single figures within 6 months. 2 years on, I’m off 14! However, with the use of camcorders and the internet, there is now so much more information about the golf swing. This is both good and bad. Nothing beats experience, but you can have too much of a good thing. You can practice for hours and concentrate on every aspect of the swing in too much detail.
Enjoyment for me is striking the ball well, hitting greens, sinking putts,making pars, but most of all, striking the ball well.
My pro tells me that if you go to the course with only one swing thought, even that is sometimes one too many. You have to go back to the KISS approach, Keep It Simple Stupid. Have a break from golf, play your best rounds in your head, remember your best shots, that’s what brings us back.
September 3rd, 2009 at 8:38 am
Find a plce to play that is not overly busy & scenic would not hurt & just play no score card no set time to finnish & actually listen to whats going on around you. The wild life the sound of a shot. Relax & realize this is what it is, not the score all your trying to do beat is your self. So you are not perfect big deal.
September 3rd, 2009 at 10:34 am
Lighten up, To be able to play golf is a pleasure, treat it that way ! !
September 3rd, 2009 at 8:14 pm
Hi Nick, Having just read all these pieces of advice, all good, I was loath to add my bit. But here goes
I think that he is in a bad place, not just his golf, but his life and his golf is just a manifestation of whatever other problems he has. Not to enjoy golf! To me means he is not enjoying his life.He should look at what else is bothering him, fix that, if he can, and then go back to Golf. Golf has been my saving grace through my life. When I had to make a hard decision at my work, generally involving people, my wife used to say to me go an play golf and it will sort your mind out. She did not even play but was aware of the benefits of taking your mind off problems. Being a scratch golfer is fantastic, he not just technically good but has talent as well.I am 70 years old retired and still play off single figures. i feel deeply for him not to enjoy the best game in the world and he is so good at it.
Best of luck with getting back to it.
September 3rd, 2009 at 11:10 pm
I have often remarked to my fellow players that I am glad that I am not a scratch player, because I would hate to get down on myself over a bad shot. I laugh off a poor shot and try to improve it on the next. If I don’t, I know that I will get my swing back on the next game or so. My friends tell me that I am a lot of fun to play with, because I am so happy to be out in the sun and enjoying my friends and somteimes making a great shot!
To your unhappy author, I say “Is that putt you just missed, worth a million bucks? Is it worth not enjoying yourself or getting down on your self esteem? If you tell me yes…then you are a masochist and no matter what hobby you take up, you will always demand the impossible perfection. Sad to be you.
And what if you always play well? Think about it. You would never be satisfied until you shot a 18. And that my friend is impossible! I really don’t think of heaven as a place to shoot a perfect game. By the way, what is the definiton of a perfect game?
To most of us, golf is a hobby which lends to a great social life and several laughs and good times for fellow enthusiasts. Not enjoying golf is like not enjoying your friends anymore.That is a lonely thought!
I hope you find the joy again really soon.
September 4th, 2009 at 9:29 am
When my day is going too well (it does not happen often) I mix up my shots. Try a fade instead of the draw just to see how it works out. Hit a bump and run into the green instead of trying to hit it long and spin it back to the cup. If all else fails in getting my attention I go play golf with people who can beat me half to death in the first nine holes. After 18 I know exactly what I need to do to improve.
It is sometimes amusing, at least to me, that we say we are going to go play golf and then forget it is a game to be played.
Of course you may have asked the wrong man. I enjoy practice as much and sometimes more than playing a round of golf. After all, we are all great golfers on the driving range and practice greens. Even me.
September 4th, 2009 at 9:49 am
My father-in-law would say that he got more joy and pleasure in the anticipation of an event than participating in the event. Enjoy the anticipation of playing your next round and when your tee time is up, let go of all anxiety and just play the round with a relaxed “hit the ball” approach – not a mechanical approach.
Kitty
September 4th, 2009 at 1:26 pm
try playing golf with a few beers not to many though
September 4th, 2009 at 8:15 pm
This guy needs to lighten up and appreciate where he is in life, the fact he has good health and reported talent beyond what most golfers can dream about.
Forget the golf course this weekend and go to your local cancer clinic and spend 4 hours there and than come back and whine about your lack of enjoyment for a game.
September 5th, 2009 at 6:11 pm
Dear scratch player golfer,
This happens to me a lot to. Once I master something it just get boring. So what I do is make it more challenging. For example if your are right handed switch to left. You can also start playing blindfonded. That should put some spice to your game. Or how about with one hand tied to your back? That should make it interesting for your level of play. Or you can take a board of chess and play chess with your buddies between holes. That should ante up your mental game. Or how about skipping in the fairway while whistling dixie. That sure takes a lot of coordination. Well the important thing is to be creative!
Good luck and have fun.